1. Everyone on the internet loves to talk about me and describe my behavioral patterns in broad, generalized ways. Knowing one dimension of my personality means that I am infinitely predictable.
2. I am constantly reminded that being introverted is not the same thing as being shy, and that I really do enjoy being social with my friends.
3. Everyone on the internet is also an introvert; it’s wonderful having this whole world wide web away from pesky extroverts.
4. I get my energy from being alone, which is great because I have plans some day to become an ascetic hermit in the Himalayas who subsists only on snow.
5. Whenever you see me doing my introvert thing, I am invariably thinking deep thoughts; there is no possible way I could just be stuck in an earworm loop with “Part of Your World.”
6. Once you get into my “circle of trust” I am always happy to spend time with you, no matter the context; it’s like having a little private version of an extrovert’s social life!
7. Like extroverts with other people, I never get tired of seeing those fantastic listicles about introverts. I hope to soon see variations such as “4 Mating Habits of Introverts” and “10 Tips For Doing Your Own Introvert Diet.”
8. The internet is the best invention ever for introverts, because it lets me be social without having to invest in “real” relationships which would just stress me out and run down my batteries (also, see #3, it’s full of other introverts!).
9. I appreciate being treated with kid gloves by extroverts who wouldn’t know what to do with me if not for those fantastic listicles.
10. I know that I am a rare and beautiful snowflake, worthy of special consideration and exoticization, just like everyone else on the internet.
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